A Child Called It

I recently got through reading the first three books written by David Pelzer: A Child Called It, The Lost Boy and A Man Named Dave. The books were published a in the 90's and they were always referenced in class throughout graduate school. I kept a running list of books mentioned by various professors to read when time allowed. Two and half years after graduating with my master's degree, I just got around to this series!

The first book focuses on the experiences David Pelzer had as a child, growing up in a home with two alcoholic parents and the extreme abuse he endured. There were times I felt nauseous reading the book due to the abuse his mother inflicted upon him.

 The second book, The Lost Boy, focuses on David's rescue and his subsequent experiences in the foster care system in California in the 1970's: how he tries to fit in and make sense of his experiences.  The last book, A Man Named Dave, is about Dave as an adult and how his experiences with his mother carry over into adulthood and reflects how he views himself.

I worked as a therapist in the world of child protection for about 6 months. I worked with families were Child Protective Services had legal sufficient to remove the children from the home. We were the last resort before the children were removed and placed in foster care. Because of my experiences, I feel I am overly cautious whenever I suspect any maltreatment. With that being said, I CAN NOT fathom the extent of the abuse ensured by the author and the fact that it was considered normal discipline in that time. I guess I never realized the slow progression of the development of what we now know as the Child Protective Service System.

I think I enjoyed the last book, A Man Named Dave, the most. He struggles to connect with people due to his lack of proper attachment as a child.  Even though he struggled to feel worthy and still wanted his mother's acceptance, He was able to overcome his circumstances. Never did he use his experiences as a child as an excuse or a crutch. He used that as a turning point from where he strength grew. I feel that too often we view our experiences as road blocks instead of speed bumps. It is a reality check for me to read someone who endured so much and remains an optimist. Even though he lacked a model of what a parent should be like, he was able to pull himself together when he became a father. Experiencing abuse as a child is a risk factor in how one will interact and discipline their own children and whether or not that abuse will be reenacted. David again defied the odds and showed nothing but love to his son.

I now  work with Adults with Severe and Persistent Mental Illness. They often have experienced traumatic events in their lives, often times in the form of physical or sexual abuse they endured as children. While those experiences certainly shape us and influence us, they do not dictate who we are or what we can become. I wish I could make all my client's read this book to help them realize that are not defined by what happens to use and we have the ability to overcome negative experiences.

Clearly these are not "feel good" books. Regardless, I highly recommend them, therapist or not :)